Thursday, 16 September 2010

Seriously. Just go away!

I don't know what it is about my neighbours. They seriously have their heads stuffed up their own backsides.

I live in a bog standard, 3 bedroom, mid terraced house in suburbia. It doesn't have many frills, and barely keeps us dry.

My neighbours mostly have the same. Give or take, mid/end terrace.

So why oh why do they insist on keeping up with the Jones'??

We all have a modest living. We all live on the same road. Yet I am the only one who is relatively down to earth.

Get over yourselves.

Don't get me wrong. We are lucky to own our own home, albeit falling down around our ears and in desperate, constant need of decoration/restoration/demolition (delete as applicable). Some of us manage it on a moderate household income with 3 very hungry little mouths to feed. But we don't think ourselves above this area or everybody else.

We bought our home because it was in the right catchment area for the school we wanted our son to go to and because at the time it was big enough for our little family to grow in. (2 children in 3 years later we have now outgrown it!) Surely, at that stage that was an educated decision for the best of our child?

Never have we thought of ourselves as better than anyone else in this area but you (plural!!!) all think you're above and beyond it.

Neighbour A lives next door. We are adjoined. They are really noisy and inconsiderate to us having small children. They have just got married in a big lavish affair which they have borrowed money to the hilt to pay for and will have to pay off for at least the next 10 years. Their home is fully decorated (albeit bodged by the half wit husband who does stuff to get her off his back.) She made him redecorate their WHOLE house to accommodate some friends they had met on holiday coming to stay FOR ONE NIGHT.

Might I remind you neighbour A that the house that you live in, in the area that you constantly put down, you have in fact lived in since you were 11. When it was a council owned property that you were housed in. Your parent bought it when the 'right to buy' scheme came about for a MINIMUM amount. Not the premium we paid for ours at the height of the housing boom.

And neighbour B lives 2 doors away (the other way), They bought this home as their first property together when he moved here from Australia.  This woman also wanders around with her nose stuck in the air like her poo doesn't stink and actually thinks herself a better parent than I. (I don't profess to be better than anyone in the parenting stakes, I just parent my children in the best way possible which I believe will nurture my children in level headed adults.) You see neighbour B had her first child as I had my second born. You could see the mocking looks at my struggle to deal with 2 young children, leaving the house not caring if I had straightened my hair, ironed my jeans or bothered with mascara and completely exhausted with a newborn with severe colic and as I found out later I was pregnant when he was only 8 weeks old so no wonder I was so bloody tired. She left the house almost perfectly manicured, hair always done, attended all the mum and baby groups and breastfeeding in public wherever she got the opportunity while looking down her nose at me bottle feeding my child. I will never apologise for it. I have been the mummy of one and yes, having a child is NEVER easy. The adjustment from 0 to 1 is possibly the most difficult as you have to relearn things about yourself and come to terms with your previous selfish ways and adapt to being selfless. It is far easier to get out of the house when there is only two of you to get ready.

When my 3rd child arrived. Oh she had a field day.

Then she announces that she is pregnant with her second.

Oh yes, you can imagine that I allowed myself a small smug smile.

Needless to say, the second pregnancy was difficult. She did not bloom as she had with her first (who does!) and found it more and more difficult with an effervescent 2 year old to run around after. It's not easy is it.
She never admitted that she had been wrong.

What really has got my goat is that both of these neighbours are now moving house. Both are moving to the same road. 3 doors away from each other (again!) and both still look down their nose at my home, life, children, car, appearance with the same level of disdain. They both know that we cannot afford to move at this time and they rub our noses in it at every opportunity.

To you both I would like to say: Life is too short to worry about what my house, car, appearance look like. I live my life to the fullest for my children. We have fun together as a family and we have more love in our lives than you can ever hope to achieve. It isn't false or on the pretence that it is better than anybody else. It is real, honest love. It is love that makes this world go around not money. Or borrowed money for that matter. You really shouldn't judge other people based on appearances. Neither of you knows what happens in our home when our door is closed. Neither of you have understood when you made your judgements what it is like to walk in my shoes. Neither of you has the right to belittle me and my family for our monetary capacity.

1 comment:

  1. I hear ya hun.
    I have the same thing happen to me. I live in a really good area, I mean really good! Apparently, the 'likes' of me shouldn't be able to afford to live in this area. And then, when it is realised that my house is so small, I get all the other comments about how selfish I am to have 4 children blah, blah, blah..
    I really couldn't give a crap what they think about our housing situation or what they think of me as a person. The thing that does get to me however, is their personal attacks on my parenting skills. Anyone who knows me, truly, really knows me, will understand that dispite not having a lot of money and a bedroom for each individual child, my kids are strong, healthy, happy and so very much loved. Like you, I do my very best for each of my children, and all of their needs are catered for.

    Maybe some people know that they couldn't do a better job then us and are upset about that fact, so do all they can to belittle us and break us down, just so they can say 'I told you so'.

    Keep going love, you are great xx