Tuesday, 8 March 2011

This year I will be mostly giving up my husband for Lent

As a Catholic I am, as ever, readily prepared for the celebration of Jesus sacrifice on the cross this Easter time.

I have spent years trying to emphasise to Mr Bean the importance of certain religious celebrations and the personal impact these have on me albeit for very small lengths of time in comparison. These impacts are mostly centred around attending mass (especially on the important days themselves), teaching our children the real meanings of Christmas and Easter and not just throwing gifts and chocolate eggs at them in an effort to turn them into spoilt, sugar overdosed, expectant little arseholes.

So far so good yea?

In my efforts, I have encouraged Mr Bean (not catholic, baptised CofE but very non practising) towards decisions of baptising our children into the Catholic faith. The pros have gone along the lines of teaching our children christian morals; which we both believe in, enrolling them into the (quite large) catholic community in our local area, sending them to the school at the bottom of our road (which is a catholic school, is walkable from my home and just so happens to have a very good ofsted report) and in the least part, satisfying my family who are devout.

Now I am not a devout catholic. Far from it. I am a divorcee now remarried to start with.

I have faith, but I do not believe in all the contradictions or the self-flagellation. My belief is not of consequence here. This is not a religious rant and I hope won't open endless religious debate as these can often be messy, argumentative and, to be honest, they start wars!

Anyway, back to the subject in question. Lent. Not my favourite time of year I must admit. Celebrating the brutal murder of anyone is quite harrowing to say the least. I try and focus on the more positive elements of the christian tradition and "the light at the end of the tunnel" so to speak.

  • prayer (justice towards God),
  • fasting (justice towards self),
  • and almsgiving (justice towards neighbour).
Now, I do tend to give up a vice during Lent. Chocolate and wine have been firm favourites of mine over years gone by. This year I will be giving up sugary drinks and sweets. Largly due to the fact that I will have to part with a lot of money at the dentist and feel that this investments is worth more than monetary sacrifice on my part.

Oh and 'll also be giving up my husband, who has Call of Duty Black Ops who this evening told me to "hurry up and watch EastEnders, as (his work colleague) is only online til 9 o'clock and then he can't play cos his GF's coming over"

Not really much of a hardship that one (if he's going to speak to me like that!) but sacrifice I must!

Other things I am giving up include:

  • trying to lose weight
  • my gym membership
  • and shouting from one area of the house to another (the children are encouraged to try this also)

Monday, 7 March 2011

Too Nice?

I am truly beginning to wonder if there is such a thing as being too nice. I mean, is there a fine line of niceness that gets crossed and you start to seriously offend people?

As most of you know I am a busy mum of 3. I run 3 small businesses. I have a home to maintain as well as a multitude of pets to look after. Yet, I still volunteer to help charities. I find time in my hectic life to try and help others who are less fortunate than I or who just really need the help (like one of the charity's whose committee board I have sat on for the last 2 years).

Recently, it has been noticed that I am receiving the cold shoulder from more than one person it seems and from more than one avenue.

To give you a scenario, I have noticed other mum's deliberately ignoring me, be it in person in the collection area at school or online in the various social networking arenas.

Most recently members of the charity that I assist by being their Treasurer have started to act really hostile towards me.

I really hope I am being paranoid and not totally blind and having missed something but I don't understand what the problem is? I have always been nothing but nice, I haven't bitched in their presence and I have gone above and beyond to help these people out. So why am I at the butt of all the snidey comments, shitty emails and dirty looks all of a sudden.

This pattern seems to have followed a slight trend throughout my life. At school it was the same, kids would be my friend one day and then hate me the next, spread nasty rumours about me and gossip about me behind my back. I seem to have fought this battle for the whole of my forever.

Don't get me wrong. I am not perfect. I do bitch (mainly about my husband, but then so does everyone), I don't gossip, I keep my friends secrets, I work really hard at being the best I possibly can at whatever it is that I am trying to achieve. I work, live, breathe and love my children as they are my biggest success story and my legacy. I never ask for thanks for anything I do or any assistance that I give. I am always the friend that is there in times of need. I listen and advise but only if people want it. I help out as much as I can with anything anyone asks of me and I try not to be selfish. The one thing I totally crap at is being a domestic goddess (I am notoriously rubbish with housework) but I do my best and to be honest the only person this offends is my "son of a control freak" husband.

I really try my hardest to live my life with an attitude of treating others how I wish to be treated. By simply being nice.

As I approach my 30th birthday this year, (a milestone for me but not necessarily for others,) I find myself questioning who I actually am. Why is it that I get treated so appallingly for trying to be a good person?
The only conclusion I can find is that I am just too nice. Would you agree? Does anyone else out there experience life like I seem to? Am I just being paranoid? What can I do to change this pattern?

Sunday, 6 March 2011