Monday, 7 March 2011

Too Nice?

I am truly beginning to wonder if there is such a thing as being too nice. I mean, is there a fine line of niceness that gets crossed and you start to seriously offend people?

As most of you know I am a busy mum of 3. I run 3 small businesses. I have a home to maintain as well as a multitude of pets to look after. Yet, I still volunteer to help charities. I find time in my hectic life to try and help others who are less fortunate than I or who just really need the help (like one of the charity's whose committee board I have sat on for the last 2 years).

Recently, it has been noticed that I am receiving the cold shoulder from more than one person it seems and from more than one avenue.

To give you a scenario, I have noticed other mum's deliberately ignoring me, be it in person in the collection area at school or online in the various social networking arenas.

Most recently members of the charity that I assist by being their Treasurer have started to act really hostile towards me.

I really hope I am being paranoid and not totally blind and having missed something but I don't understand what the problem is? I have always been nothing but nice, I haven't bitched in their presence and I have gone above and beyond to help these people out. So why am I at the butt of all the snidey comments, shitty emails and dirty looks all of a sudden.

This pattern seems to have followed a slight trend throughout my life. At school it was the same, kids would be my friend one day and then hate me the next, spread nasty rumours about me and gossip about me behind my back. I seem to have fought this battle for the whole of my forever.

Don't get me wrong. I am not perfect. I do bitch (mainly about my husband, but then so does everyone), I don't gossip, I keep my friends secrets, I work really hard at being the best I possibly can at whatever it is that I am trying to achieve. I work, live, breathe and love my children as they are my biggest success story and my legacy. I never ask for thanks for anything I do or any assistance that I give. I am always the friend that is there in times of need. I listen and advise but only if people want it. I help out as much as I can with anything anyone asks of me and I try not to be selfish. The one thing I totally crap at is being a domestic goddess (I am notoriously rubbish with housework) but I do my best and to be honest the only person this offends is my "son of a control freak" husband.

I really try my hardest to live my life with an attitude of treating others how I wish to be treated. By simply being nice.

As I approach my 30th birthday this year, (a milestone for me but not necessarily for others,) I find myself questioning who I actually am. Why is it that I get treated so appallingly for trying to be a good person?
The only conclusion I can find is that I am just too nice. Would you agree? Does anyone else out there experience life like I seem to? Am I just being paranoid? What can I do to change this pattern?

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